Farewell Rosehaven: The five best low-stakes storylines from TV’s sweetest show | TV & radio


When you remove all the categories that we use to define movies and tv shows – when you remove all the genres and awesome tags – there are really only two kinds: the ones we watch and the ones we don’t. remember. Top real estate agents Emma (Celia Pacquola) and Daniel (Luke McGregor), the main characters of Rosehaven, have already well and truly established a residence in our collective psyches, forming – along with other people from the idyllic titular town where he is. based – a very nice space to mentally come back to.

This place in our heads is of course run by the right people at McCallum Real Estate: Emma, ​​Daniel, the laconic but adorable old receptionist Mrs. Marsh (Noela Foxcroft) and their cranky and hard to impress boss Barbara (Kris McQuade). After five delightfully low-key seasons, ABC TV aired Rosehaven’s pleasantly satisfying finale on Wednesday night. A cute email arrived in my inbox earlier in the week from the show’s publicist, politely asking the media to keep his resolution a secret.

The point is, you couldn’t ruin this show even if you wanted to. Rosehaven is a state of mind; a soothing balm for anxious moments; a world full of fresh air where the pace is slow and the stakes are low. Thinking back to this very nice series which, when it launched in 2016, I first found a little too much uneventful but soon darling, here are five of my favorite and least important storylines – one from each season.

Top Realtors Emma (Celia Pacquola) and Daniel (Luke McGregor) in Rosehaven Season Four. Photography: Scott Bradshaw

The Weird New Locksmith

Season one, episode two
What happens when people in a small town don’t trust the local locksmith? After all, they have (more or less) the keys to everything. Emma and Daniel are alerted to this problem when the local neighborhood watch arrives at their office to tell them that they don’t trust the new “weird” locksmith Damien (David Quirk) who a citizen claims is guilty of the crime. hateful of a day “to smell a bush without flowers”.

Emma and Daniel go to his house to find out; Emma is thrilled that he is a hoarder. They don’t care about the guy and allay the town’s worries (partly by buying them a pub tour) until Damien unexpectedly walks into their house to collect his father’s belongings that never had been returned. This is one of the first examples of the show’s community spirit and penchant for preparing a meal out of overwhelmingly trivial grievances.

Daniel is getting ready for his first auction

Season two, episode eight
This episode begins with Daniel, hammer in hand, exercising his best auction voice as Emma (arguably) helps him prepare for his first auction. His most valuable contribution suggests that he spins in place after shouting “Sold!” When auction day arrives, nervous and awkward Daniel (McGregor, after all, is a clumsy author) talks about the property while reflecting on the revolutionary benefits of a combined bathroom and toilet: “So, no. need to go to another room to wash your hands. “

When the crowd’s interest is lackluster, Daniel asks, “Does anyone have a double shoulder injury that could prevent them from raising their arms?” The auction is a bit of a debacle, but things end well – until Daniel yells “Sold!”, Spins in place and accidentally turns his hammer into a projectile that takes out one of the inhabitants.

Save the pig

Season three, episode one
When in doubt, throw a stray or missing pig into your story – according to a scriptwriting saying espoused by no one specifically (although this episode, a great Nicolas Cage movie and one of my all-time favorite Australian movies has wholeheartedly embraced the concept). Emma has fallen under the spell of a big pig who comes to the McCallum Real Estate office; she declares him lost despite Daniel’s suggestion: “He knows exactly what he’s doing and you’re messing up his plans.” “

The following plot, which revolves around Emma’s reluctance to return the pig to the butcher (for obvious reasons) reflects, perhaps accidentally (given Rosehaven’s aversion to making a statement about anything. either) reflects the truism that many more vegetarians would exist if the killing of animals had not been done out of sight and out of mind. The character of the pig is played by Ned, an actual rescue whose “comedic timing was often impeccable” – in the words of this episode’s director, Shaun Wilson.

McGregor and Pacquola with actor Ned the Pig.
Luke McGregor and Celia Pacquola with actor Ned the Pig. Photography: Michael Brook

Barbara and the real estate conference

Season four, episode four
Season Four Episode Four explores a horror familiar to many: attending a business conference. This plot is a way of acknowledging that Barbara – who attends a regional real estate conference to receive an award – is not only fun in a bad mood, but also exceptionally good at her job.

A speaker asks participants to call out the names of the less trustworthy professions in society. She gets the usual responses (lawyers and car salesmen) until a guy in the back calls the fishmongers because “they never weigh the fries; you just have to believe it’s the same amount ”. The gag is indicative of Rosehaven’s confident, seinfeldian observational humor: harmless jokes that make you think “So true!” “

Dealing with a lavender shower owner

Season five, episode two
The very beautiful actress Pamela Rabe plays a character light years away from her famous sadistic prison warden of Wentworth: a landlord, Margaret, who has a habit of swinging at her tenant’s house out of the blue. The tenant asks Daniel and Emma to remedy this situation, but struggles to explain why she finds Margaret so boring. As I do; just like you.

The landlady not nice

That’s the beauty of Rabe’s blissful and gently condescending performance: it is indeed almost endlessly irritating. Even the way Margaret says “hello” somehow makes you hate her. Assuming that she’s allergic to lavender, Emma and Daniel fill the tenant’s house with lavender-scented candles to dissuade her from coming and, uh-oh, the plan works a bit. too much good.

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